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“Connection-first parenting” can sound lovely in theory and mildly infuriating at 4:42 p.m., when someone is crying because their toast was cut wrong, the baby is overtired, and your own nervous system has been running on fumes since breakfast.
So what does connection actually mean?
It does not mean being endlessly patient. It does not mean saying yes to everything. It does not mean preventing your child from being upset, or never missing a cue, or becoming some serene woodland creature, or a yoga-bliss-mama who responds perfectly to every feeling.
Why Does My Child Hold It Together at School and Melt Down at Home?
The 4:00 p.m. version of your child is not the whole story
Maybe your child’s teacher says they are doing fine.
Maybe they are polite. Quiet. Helpful. Focused enough. Maybe they are even the kid who gets described as “a joy to have in class.”
Then they get in the car, walk through the front door, or hear one tiny request—shoes off, wash hands, please don’t yell at your brother—and suddenly everything explodes.
Crying. Rage. Silence. A demand for snacks immediately. A refusal to speak. A meltdown over the wrong cup, the wrong socks, the fact that you breathed in their general direction.
And you are left wondering: How can they be so “fine” at school and so impossible at home?
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It started with what seemed like a fairly mundane administrative request.
I have never participated directly with insurance companies. I built my private practice outside of insurance from the beginning. My clients pay me directly for their care, and some choose to use their out-of-network benefits and submit documentation to their insurance company for possible reimbursement.
Until recently, that meant I didn't need to be credentialed with an insurance company. I didn't need a CAQH account. I wasn't part of an insurance network.
Then Blue Cross Blue Shield asked me to register as an out-of-network provider.
Wait.
What?